let’s talk about cancers.

Cancers are always dismissed as soft, impressionable, inconsequential, weak, whiny, victim-y, simpleminded, sensitive crybabies but the many that love to categorize them as such simply don’t have the intellect or the depth to understand that, in spite of their unfiltered purity, Cancers are not that simple. But then again a lot of projection is put upon Cancers because this sign (and most of its commonly promoted archetypes) is held up a rather convenient scapegoat to make up for the other signs’ own many, many, many shortcomings. The fact is, Cancers are complex; they rarely fit into any one label. But a lot of people can’t handle complexity and want to put them into a neatly labeled little box so they can file them away and never think about them again. So when other signs, who seem to see themselves as the self-appointed “gatekeepers” and “tastemakers” of what being an ideal human being is, run into a Cancer who comes along and defies their preexisting categories of what Cancers are supposed to be, they hate on them. Cancers are cardinal signs and are pioneers. Thus, they often suffer the fate of pioneers: they are hated for who they are then but universally praised for who they are now. In hindsight, Cancers (and those with sense) will realize that they made a much bigger impact than they get credit for according to these so-called “gatekeepers” and “tastemakers”, often unfairly due to their reticent, comfort-seeking and reclusive nature (as if that’s such a bad thing).

Being the pioneers that they are, Cancers are the blueprint of what it means to be human because they express a healthy range of normal human emotions and interestingly enough they often get clowned or dismissed because of it…until years later, when it becomes clear that these other signs are historically wrong and then they start agreeing with or emulating Cancerian sensibilities; that this person that they didn’t understand was actually important, and then to save their all-important and fragile egos these other signs do a 180 and pretend that they fucked with them/respected them/liked them all along, such as Princess Diana for example, who, when she was alive, was mocked and dismissed for her seemingly “frivolous” sensitivities, and now years later (conveniently after her death) the very things she stood for and acted upon are things that are now popular with people. The same people who won’t acknowledge Cancers now without diminishing their natural light and humanity are the same ones who’ll be talking or writing some gushy, cheaply sentimental, overly effusive and pretentious shit 5-10 years later about how those Cancers were right and how they changed everything.

Advice to Cancers: As a Cancer, I know firsthand that all these bitch ass motherfuckers like to talk SO much fucking shit about us when it comes to who we are, or try to ignore our existence because they’re too pussy to handle authenticity, but lo and behold they’ll soon be eating their words and rueing the day they underestimated and undermined our low-key majesty and divinity. They always do at the end of the day. We’re the leaders of a quiet revolution, as is evidenced in these rather touchy-feely times where emphasis is put on self-care and feelings. We did that, subconsciously; take full credit and ownership for that. We did that. We predict the future of how mankind goes and should be. We’re ahead of the curve and everyone else knows it and can’t stand it and will give themselves and everyone else undeserved credit for this but us. We are walking fucking examples of how you shouldn’t listen to anyone but yourselves. Listen to your heart; do not listen to ANYBODY’S advice when it comes to following your heart. How are you honestly gonna listen to someone else’s bitch ass advice when it comes to your heart? Whatever you heart tells you to do, you need to do it. Someone else’s advice is not going to lead you to where you want to or need to go unless they tell you to follow your heart. You gotta scratch and claw your way to the top. That’s how it works. Period. Use your head, but follow your heart.

Advice for all the other signs in this glorious season called Cancer: Don’t be bitter, be better. Don’t be the person who jumps on the bandwagon like a sheep and shits on Cancers as a matter of course just because it’s cool/everyone else is shitting on them. We can’t help that we’re the shit without having to shit on anyone. Try to use your brain and quit mindlessly regurgitating by rote the often patronizing and disparaging shit on Cancers by third-rate astrologers (whether on tumblr or elsewhere) and astrology books without actually looking into the facts first and maybe, just maybe you might have some sort of credibility and integrity and you can finally acquire the maturity that you need to evolve into the best Capricorns, Scorpios, Libras, Pisces, Virgos, Leos, etc. that I’m are that you all can eventually be someday. 🤷‍♀️

Deuces. 😘

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