Some tumblr on anon asked me:
What is femininity to you? How do [you] advise people get in touch with that?
Those who have strong Venus and Moon influences already have a leg up on the rest of us. But to those who don’t have those influences, here it is. This is the stuff that mothers should have taught their daughters, but I understand that not every female had a southern mother like I did; I’m one of the lucky ones in the sense that despite our many differences, my mother was strong and savvy enough to teach me to how to be good at who I am. Although I’m no one’s mother or mentor, I’ll nevertheless be kind enough to be magnanimous. With that being said, to me, femininity is…
- having intelligence and wit
- maintaining and cultivating a sense of mystery
- discretion and a sense of decorum
- staying above pettiness, cattiness and gossip
- being proud of my sexuality
- having a signature scent
- being secure in myself
- never accepting defeat; aka being on some scarlett o’hara-type shit
- being graceful and classy
- having a life outside of the internet and social media
- engaging in conversation with people face to face, with good eye contact, and leaving the cell in my purse
- having a sense of humour
- wearing a red lip and having red nails
- being acutely aware of my senses and living in the moment
- tastefully flaunting the physical assets I have
- having tasteful and timeless jewelry and clothing with a few statement pieces
- wearing more dresses and skirts
- having a low, mellifluous voice
- knowing when to speak and when to be silent
- appreciating and perfecting your body as it is, not as you wish it were
- taking care of myself through manicures, pedicures, facials, exercise, etc.
- being craftily manipulative, not pettily manipulative
- appropriate and subtle social flirtatiousness laced with a bit of sass
- having pretty hair and looking my best at all times
- pretty underwear and lingerie
- wearing nightgowns or nothing to bed instead of shapeless pyjamas
- wearing athleisure NOT sweatpants. after all, you know what karl lagerfeld said about sweatpants
- owning at least two pairs of high heels, especially stilettos or “fuck me heels”
- good posture, grooming, hygiene and manners
- always knowing when to leave
- standing on my own two feet and not relying on or basing my existence on the words or actions of other women
- taking pride in myself
- standing up for myself at all costs…
- and never relinquishing my power.
To get to this level, it takes self-esteem. Knowing who you are and being assured of your identity and worth is 80% of the battle. Some, like myself, seem to practically come out of the womb with this self-security; a lot more have to work at it, and it takes time. Either way, these qualities are what make me, my mother, and the women I acknowledge supremely feminine.
